Winter closet is OUT, seasonal depression is IN
Hello! I hope you have a wonderful day.
It's always an experience changing closets from summer to winter. I know that for the rest of the world it's been autumn for about two months already? In my country we were wearing tanktops and shorts till last week. And even though I could see the sun go down earlier and earlier each weak I could just sit outside at 12pm and sunbathe while I worked at school and forget all about it.
But now there's no avoiding it. After a week of constant rain and strong wind, the air is officially crisp and so my beautifully colourful closet has become obsolete.
Some might think having two closets is too much and that you should try building a smaller one that will last a year, for which I say try to dress for 40+°C and 5-°C with the same clothes. But that is beside the point.
The point is my summer loving ass is not ready yet, she never is. I am a summer girl: summer fruit, popsicles, going to the beach, complaining about the heat, sweating my ass of when going outside, smiling at the sun. BEING OUTSIDE.
I know it's not mysterious and academic like autumn, it's not elegant and sleek like winter and it's not dreamy and ambitious like spring (though she's a really really close second). But I just love my summers. I like to have my legs out and my arms out, I adore sandals and flowy pants and don't even get me started on the colors and boring outfits that you're allowed to wear because it's hot out who cares.
For me personally it's always a travesty having to say goodbye to my bright red flowy pants, the jean shorts and the basic ass black tanktops. But what IS WORSE is the winter wardrobe.
I try to give it the same feel, I always do but the colors are brown and muted and as much as dark green is one of my favorite colors it still feels depressing with no sun out. What I hate most to be honest is how tight and close to my skin everything is and has to be to keep me warm. And don't get me started about how awful and traumatic it used to be as a kid and teen with a fatfobic family to have to try the clothes that fit last year and find out the they fit bad or that you'd gained weight and feel like shit. Im better now thank god but I'm still fighting the demons my parents put there as a kid.
And to the "Stop complaining that you're cold and add more layers" respectfully fuck you. I will complain forever. I've worn two pairs of socks plus tights plus pants and I still can't feel my barely breathing toes. I've worn two tshirts plus a shirt plus a sweatshirt plus a coat and I still can feel the cold in my arms. I just get SWEATY. Sweaty and cold. See? It's like now!! I can hear the picketing sound of rain but I'm distracted by how cold my feet feel when going to sleep.
Anyways to officially close the summer season I went for a walk in shorts (two pairs of socks plus hiking boots, tshirt, hoodie and coat). I got really sad, I think this is seasonal depression just punching me in the face but I always feel so defeated in fall. I feel alone even when I know I'm not. I feel like why keep trying. I'm hoping this year's is better... Love L